I went to a shrink tonight. She wanted to talk about my family to find out why, out of four kids, I'm the only alky. But she came up empty handed, seems I had a pretty normal upbringing. Then I spoke with my brother who said it was just biological, just the way I'm wired. But my shrink said that if that was it, just wiring, she'd have no hope for me ever recovering.
Seriously, I don't really need to worry about why I'm an alky at this point, do I? Shouldn't I just focus on being a recovering alky? Sometimes, the more you drink and drug, the more you need to drink and drug, right??
Biological predispostion + some really stressful things in adulthood = alcoholic?
I really like to get drunk+way too many times= messing up brain chemistry=alcoholic?
1 drink today+ >150 drinks tonight = shame, regret, sadness, hateful husband, self-loathing, blackouts, unexplained abrasions, guilt, drunken midnight bike rides for more booze and so on and so on................Ha, and to think I had to repeat algebra in high school!!
Sober tonight. Grateful.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment