Three Weeks, Dammit

I have three weeks today. 21 days. And I'm really not happy about being an alky right now. Nope, not one bit. Would like to have a couple of beers with my husband. Just a few. But I blew it so many times, it's not a possibility. Acceptance, acceptance. I know tomorrow, I will be happy to wake up in my bed, instead of somewhere else in the house. I will know what I said and did. I will not have to look around for clues to piece together the events of tonight. My husband will not be hateful towards me. I will have energy and patience for my kids. I will go to the gym and pound all this negativity away. I will be relieved. I will feel stronger for making it through this tough night. I will not be filled with self-loathing and shame. I will not feel bewildered, sad or guilty. Okay, I am starting to chill out now. Better go do some praying.