I was able to eat enough to workout at the gym today. Good stuff. Someone came up to me and wondered since I lost such a massive amount of weight if I was okay. I said I was, it's just stress and he said he'd been there. I don't want to go below 110 pounds, I'm trying to keep eating.
My husband is supposed to return from his trip around midnight on Friday. I really don't want him here, in light of the fact that he doesn't even think he wants to be here anymore, his anger, resentment and the fact that he doesn't think he was ever happy in our marriage. I'm not really comfortable having him around. But I want my kids to be able to see him and enjoy a sense of normalcy. I'm not sure what to do. Ask him to go to a hotel or have him come home? I guess he could still come here and see the kids, even if he stays in a hotel. But it would be more normal for them to wake up and have him here on Saturday morning. But if he's going to be moving out anyway, they will have to get used to him not being here.
I am struggling with this one. I don't want to be the Director. I am trying to do what is best for me and my kids. But what might be best for the kids, isn't really the best for me on this one. I'm trying to see what God's will is in this. So then I think I shouldn't do anything, just let my husband show up here. But I need to do what is right for me too. To protect myself physically and to protect my sobriety.
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4 comments:
From one sober stay-at-home-mom to another, I get that feeling of balancing the world on your shoulders. Just remember that your kids need you to be healthy and happy if you want to give them the best chance at those things, too.
Marriage problems suck. Been there, done that, and we're on the other side now. I swear it was a mid-life crisis in his late 20s. Don't laugh. I'm serious. Anger, resentment, not sure if he was ever happy... And then one day he realized he was and I realized I wanted to work it out despite how hurt I was over all that had happened. And also for our son. But I had also realized through constant contact with my HP, that my son and I would be ok no matter what. Knowing that made it a lot easier to make the right decisions for me and for my family.
Hang in there.
yip that is a hard one. where does one begin to draw a line between 'for the sake of the child' and 'for the sanity of me'... but i know you'll make the right decision. keep it up.
Oh dear. I'm at a loss. I can't offer advice cos I haven't got any.
[[[Clarity]]]
I'm thinking of you. We're both having turbulent times. No need to drink though, eh? We'll get through our stuff, Clarity.
Thinking of you, sweetie.
K .x.
Keeping your sobriety and your connection to your HP 1st are the most important things you can do now...
I continue to pray that the waves of fear subside and that your course becomes smoother, my friend.
In my prayers~
Shuggr
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