"Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account. At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. If you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink. While you were drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little. Now you are getting back into the social life of this world. Don't start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor". BB pg. 102
I have two best friends. The three of us did a lot of "research" trying to disprove that I'm an alcoholic. Believe me, we were thorough in our research. I tried a lot of things, only drinking on the weekends, only drinking light beer, being the designated driver. But alas, on my knees bloody and bruised, I had to admit I am, in fact, an alcoholic. The three of us have only gone out once together in the 73 days since I've been sober. And seriously, they were way more worried about it than I was. They felt like they needed to go to an Al-Anon meeting before we went to dinner. I told them they could carry on as usual, but they would not drink while we were out.
My sponsor says I am lucky that my friends don't feel comfortable drinking around me and that they are giving me a gift I should accept. I'll listen to my sponsor because she knows more than I do. However, I don't think my friends should feel they need to shield me from their drinking. I have my sober peeps on the other end of the phone and I'm in a good place spiritually right now. I'm not trying to put myself around alcohol "to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere". I just don't want my friends to feel so awkward when we are together in a nice restaurant celebrating a birthday or something. It's just early days I guess.
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7 comments:
If they don't feel comfy drinking around you, embrace that. LOL
They will soon enough.. great blog girl..
I love that your gurl friends are embracing your sobriety today. I think it is a gift for you that they don't drink around you- apparently THEY are not alcoholic, or they would drink anyways!
I too did an awful lot of research trying to convince me that I was not one of us- glad we both found our way home!
love and HUGS
I agree with the bit from the BB and your sponsor. But it's up to you to protect yourself and leave 'wet' places or situations if you feel uncomfortable.
Great post. Thanks.
What everyone else says...
Peace,
Scout
hey! i get that too. comments about it's shitty that i can't drink with them anymore. at least my best friend conceded that i'm still as much fun sober as i was drunk though. she 'uses' me as designated driver nowadays. and the ones that don't like it have actually faded away. guess they were not real friends in the first place. and i still don't feel 100% comfortable around people that drink. comfortable may not be the right word. i get irritated most of the time... and i really like the quote, must remember that. makes huge sense.
oh, the bean was diagnosed in grade 1 and has been on ritalin since. fortunately no side effects. calls it his brain vitamins....
What a wonderful gift, I had a similar experience with my best galpal.
I even bought her a Big Book so she could 'understand' us a little better :)
Keep it up woman, you're on the right track!
Your Sister in Sobriety,
Shug
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