I can breathe again, I'm on solid ground. Thanks to DAAve and Mary Christine for responding to my SOS.
I went to a great meeting tonight and I almost wept I was so happy. Tonight we talked about What is Sobriety. Many people shared that they thought they were sober, but eventually realized they just weren't drinking. That is where I am right now. There is such a huge difference. In my head and spiritually, I'm not that much further along than I was 32 days ago. BUT, I have AA now and I'm putting together a tool box and I have a pretty big space between me and the first drink now.
I heard that if you speak with your sponsor or another alcoholic everyday, it will be so much easier to pick up the phone when your really NEED to.
People with many, many years of sobriety said that if they felt they wanted to drink and didn't talk to someone about if for about two days, they felt they would go back out. They just can't keep those thoughts in their heads, all by themselves. I thought that was a newcomer thing, and that I must be doing something wrong to feel that way. But now I see differently.
A lot of people said they could make it to 90 days standing on their heads, but they could never make it to 91. They always felt they deserved to go out and celebrate!!! If nothing changes, nothing changes. I have to always remember that I'm an alcoholic, or I will do the same thing.
One man was pissed off and uncomfortable and still wanted to drink for about a year and half after coming to AA. Not anymore, he still does the same things he did for his for 30, 60, 90 days. Still heeds the advice given him when he first started.
One guy thought you had to hit your bottom before AA could work for you. But now he thinks the longer it takes you to get to AA, the harder and more painful your life becomes, and the harder and more painful it is to recover.
One woman needs to talk to her sponsor everyday because she never wants to go back to the dark and desolate place where she once was. Neither do I, I must always remember that desolation. And it's a liquid, a couple of sips of a frickin liquid. All this fuss over a couple of ounces of a liquid. Damn!
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5 comments:
Hang in there and keep thinking the drink through to its logical conclusion!
Hey Clarity! I saw a plea from MC to stop by...I have added you to my links, OK?
I so remember those first few days of recovery, the uncertainties , the wanting to not be an alcoholic, the wanting to be better NOW!
Someone who recently celebrated 34 years said "I just did it ONE DAY AT A TIME" Even I can do that...and you can too!
HUGS
Hang in there. Going to meetings is good, good, good.
Hi...I'm Meg and I'm an alcoholic and an addict. I love that you are writing about the similarities you can see in meetings...things that you can do to help you stay sober. Having an open mind is such a big part of the battle.
How are you doing today?
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