I went to a meeting tonight. I had not been to a meeting since last Tuesday. I was too sick and then I put family before the meetings. I am still sober. 51 days today. I had a drinking dream last night. In the dream, I thought I only had two drinks, but then I couldn't remember how I got home. I decided the next day to go back on the wagon, so I lied to everybody and said I was still sober. Of course, everyone saw through my lies. It was scary. I really felt drunk in the dream!
I was talking to a friend from AA today and we were saying how much we both needed a meeting really soon. It is hard for me to describe how I feel when I am at a meeting. Relaxed, relieved, understood are some of the words that come to mind.
A gentleman shared this evening about attending AA meetings in Rio. He went to one being held in English and then a guy asked him if he wanted to go to the one that was in Portuguese. Even though he could not understand a word being said, he was uplifted. He described it as part of his spiritual experience in AA. I can relate to that completely. Uplifted is how I feel at meetings.
Today I am so very grateful that
I am still sober after 51 days
My antibiotics worked and I feel better than I have in about two months
My son's eye issue has resolved itself, which is good because I was not able to get any medication in his eyes.
Even though both of my kids are home on spring break, I was content today. That would have NEVER happened in my drinking days.
I am going to what has been described as a very big, very powerful AA meeting in Manhattan tomorrow night with a fine group of AA women.
I went to dinner on sat. night to celebrate a friend's birthday and both of my "normie" friends chose not to drink to support me. Solidarity baby!
My husband had his bitches over for poker on Fri. night and I was FINE with it! I actually sat with them a while until they kicked me out for asking if anyone wanted a non-alcoholic beverage. LOL!
Even though the weather is beautiful and a nice cold beer would be nice while sitting outside, I KNOW that acting on that thought will lead me to a very sad and desolate place. And I accept that today, who the hell knows what tomorrow will bring.
There is no doubt in my mind that I would have none of the above if not for my Higher Power.
2 comments:
It is so good to hear from you again!!! I am very glad you are feeling better, have a good meeting to go to and are grateful. Take care of yourself!
I always wonder at my own insanity when I don't make the meetings that I usually go to! I always feel better after them. Today is an awesome day for you, and I'm glad, 'cause you deserve a LOT of awesome days!
Love and HUGS
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