I'm juss bitchin here. I'm leaving for a meeting tonight and my husband wants to know, now that's it been 42 days, when do I think it would be alright for him to bring beer into the house. But if it's not okay, maybe he'll just go to the bar and have a few beers and watch the ballgame tonight.
I was so pissed off. Well let's see now, I can NEVER have a beer again, so I guess after 40 something days, you've suffered enough, so by all means, go catch a freaking buzz. I'm just dealing with no buzz FOREVER here. Don't let my alcoholism hold you back, you friggin prick. We used to be great drinking buddies, til I couldn't handle it anymore....First he resents me because I choose to drink when we all know he's gonna find me on the floor the next day. Now he resents me because he can't drink in the house. What a drag, he can't win.
But it's not really fair to him I guess. Why should he not drink because I'm an alky? It's not his fault. But still, give me a little time here. How about 90 days? I'm just pissed that he can drink and I can't. And I'm holding him hostage in a way. It's his turn to have his poker game here next friday, and all the guys are going to show up with beer anyway. So I don't know why it's okay next friday and not this friday. I guess I just need a little more time. I'm a beast I know it. Enough ranting.
4 comments:
I totally understand your frustrations. When I entered rehab 2005, June, my boyfriend who I live with then and today stopped drinking. I could not imagine the challenges I would have to face with him actively drinking.
However with food, he would feast. I slipped back into bulimia and would silently get upset at him cuz he could just eat like a normal person. This silence began to destroy me.
I would suggest talking to others that have experiences similar siutations in regard to thier significant others drinking habits. This Dz, it is so destructive and will kill. Your LIFE is so much more important than that. You are protecting your sobriety right now.
Perhaps your husband does not know how alcoholism can destroy a person, a family and all those around. Having his support I crucial to your recovery. Seek some solutions, again, talk to others that have walked this path.
Sober Chick-So glad to see you, thanks for sharing a bit a yourself when you are finding your way back. You are so sweet and thoughtful!
I'm glad I found your blog...you really worked thru some stuff in that one paragraph.;)
Stay in the day...just this day, forever will take care of itself
Agreed with Pam--stay in the day, just the present day. Forever is a long, long time -- an overwhelming amount of time. So, TODAY his drinking bugs, maybe tomorrow it will be different.
It's o.k. to need time, Clarity, and it's o.k. to set boundaries and tell him about it. Talk to some others who have been there, as SC said.
I am blessed to have a partner in the program. I have also been on the side you're on in the past. I know how difficult it can be in early recovery.
Talk to some people, k?
Peace,
Scout
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