My First BB

I started reading sobriety blogs, I think about two years ago. I knew that I had a problem with alcohol, but I wasn't convinced I was an alcoholic. I knew that AA had something to do with a higher power. I wasn't ready for AA, but I wanted to know more about this higher power stuff. So I googled higher power and found dAAve's blog. Through the links on his blog, I was introduced to a great group of sober bloggers like Mary Christine, JJ, Sober Chick and then later Scout, Pam, Meg and others. (They're all linked in my sidebar, sorry too tired now to figure out how to link them in this text, I'm new to all this).

My first readings of the Big Book were through these sobriety blogs. I read their blogs as my daily meditations. These bloggers just seemed so enlightened, no matter how much pain and chaos was going on in their lives. I tried to glean from their blogs a way to have a better life, a more spiritual existence, while continuing to drink. I wanted what they had, but I wanted to be able to get wasted all the time too! I continued to drink to prove to myself that I could drink like a normal person, and I proved just the opposite.

When I was ready to put the bottle down, I had a tiny glimmer of hope, because of my vicarious experience with AA through my favorite sobriety blogs. Because of my favorite sober blogs, I knew where to go, and I knew that it would work if I worked.

Now I sit in a meeting and read the Big book, but the first time I read the Big book was here with my fellow bloggers. Thank you for sharing your experience, strength and hope.