I am so grateful for the program of Alcoholics Anonymous tonight. My husband is in Dallas again. Same place he was when his blackberry accidently dialed me when he was out drinking with a woman, after he had just told me he was out to dinner with a couple of guys.
He's not communicating with me at the moment. We had a disagreement and he is not returning my instant messages and his cell phone is apparently not working. I feel very hurt and disrespected by my husband right now. I'm not going to drink over it tonight. I'm not planning on drinking over it at all. It's time's like this when I'm on high alert against alcohol, so that's not the worry.
Just not sure what to do with this belly full of really yucky emotions. And not sure what to do with an ongoing marital problem. I've been on the phone with my sponsor for almost 2 hours tonight. She gave me some great advice and insight and reading assignments for tonight. She told me that my HP tapped me on the shoulder to come into AA and he's not going to drop me on my butt now. I really, really needed to hear this tonight. I'm to give this entire situation over to the program of AA and my HP. That's what I can "do" now. Because I always feel like I have to "do" something.
This giving it all to AA and my HP is a totally new and foriegn concept for me. I am humbled and completely willing to do this. More will be revealed.
5 comments:
G-d, I'm so sorry you are going thru this.
Pray your ass off and then pay attention to the evidence of the results.
Peace,
Scout
i'm praying for you too.
all situations eventually sort themselves out and you and me both know that alcohol certainly doesn't aid in the process. stay strong and talk, talk, talk to whoever you need to to stay on track and to help you figure this one out too...
You are never alone in this....and you're right, you don't have to drink over it. Hang in there baby.
It's Friday evening now. How are you todAAy?
Peace,
Scout
I had a really bad day when I realized that being in recovery does not equal happily ever after. We still have problems. We still struggle. Our marriages still falter sometimes. The only difference is that we try to be the best people we can be, handle the situation the best we can, not drink and go to meetings. What else can you do?
You sound like you're doing all the right things at the moment. Keep talking, keep writing and know that many people care. Take care.
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